Upset with Insurance

I received some very upsetting news this week..... as of March 2009, our insurance will no longer except our pediatrician. I am absolutely devastated to say the least.. We have been with our amazing doctor for over 5 incredible yrs, since Bryce was born to be exact. I feel as if we are not going to get the same high rise treatment if we are torn into going somewhere else. Which to me I would stay there forever, however, my husband has seen the medical bills pour in thru the mail, so he is a little more moving into finding another doctor. It is just not the same; to walk into the NICU & see your pedi holding & loving on your baby- I was just speechless. I was a real BIG advocate about not having Lilly stay in her bed the whole time, that is why we moved Babies R' US up there. I wanted her to be up & out exploring her surroundings. Seeing what she was all surrounded by & not just the 4 sides of her bed! The nurses were always moving & Lilly liked to watch. However, if I could I would have stayed up there 24/7 & just held her, but I had two precious boys at home who were dying for mommy's attention! Needless to say, when Shane & I or family members were not up there holding Lilly- our doctor was when he was at the hospital. I am just lost w/ all these mixed emotions of being angry, sad, hopelessness, feeling a failure to my children, uneducated on where to go next! How do I go about finding a new one? Start calling, interviewing, take my kids up there & let them decide? I feel completely in the dark. Maybe I don't want to start yet or ever, but when? Bryce & Brock are due for their yearly checkup w/n the next couple of months, should I start then. Should Dr. LaCour see them one last time or perhaps a new doctor? I have always felt 100% everything when it came to our pediatrician, I think that is why I feel like I am letting my kids down. Letting them down, because I feel like we have one of the best doctors in the world & I can't do anything about it to continue for them to stay there. I have spoke with our nurses & doctor & they all said to complain to the insurance company. I have called & called, left a million messages, but can't reach anyone to help me. I am not going to quit & will fight tooth & nail for us to stay. Then, I think this letter went out 6months ahead for a reason. So, please pray that our insurance will come to some sort of agreement with Texas Children's Pediatric Association, before my time is up.